World IBD Day 2020

For world IBD (Inflammatory Bowel Disease) Day on Tuesday, I want to talk about a different aspect about having IBD since I was diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis(a form of IBD) almost 3 years ago. I want to talk about fear. 😱 Continue if you would like to read a novel 😛

There are many big fears with having IBD(starting with it being a chronic illness, so I’ll have it for the rest of my life because there isn’t a true cure). When I was first diagnosed, I was sick for a rough couple months and then in the hospital for two weeks. My parents and my family actually didn’t think that I was going to make it out. My mom even brought in my campus priest to give me the anointing of the sick✝️(Catholic sacrament generally reserved for those about to die- with some exceptions). Then when I was starting to get better at the end of the two weeks, my mom wanted to take me back to Idaho Falls and take me away from my friends and faith community in Boise. I didn’t even know if I would be able to care for myself let alone hold down a job with all of the symptoms I was experiencing.

Even now with being in remission and leading a rather ‘ordinary’ life, there are still fears of flaring up again or my immune system building up an immunity to the medication I am taking or even the possibility of having my colon removed down the line.

Then are my own personal fears such as being afraid of needles. I once passed out in class in elementary school because there was a picture of a needle in a science book. I thought it was be something I would grow out of or even get used to, but I still have to lie down and look away when I get my blood drawn or get an infusion. I am also wary of people treating me differently when they find out I have a chronic illness or not understanding when I get sick from the medication I take to stop my intestines from attacking itself.

Fear will paralyze you if you let it. I learned rather quickly that living in fear is no way to live your life. 🙅🏼‍♀️I’m reminded of the quote “You can’t let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game”. Having Ulcerative Colitis is a part of my life, but I am not defined by it and it isn’t going to stop me from living my life. I know that whenever I am afraid that I need to lean more on God and trust that he is going to be with me every step of my journey.

I don’t know the journey ahead and I’m sure there will be plenty of fears to face in the years to come, but I trust that God is going work through them to help me and others grow closer to Him. He even says in the bible many times, “Be Not Afraid.”
My advice for when you are facing you fear would be 1) prayer & trust🙏🏻 & 2) The quote my family imbedded forever in my mind “ you only need 10 seconds of insane courage and then run like hell”. Something good always comes out good when you try to act courageously- even if it is only that you are just a smidge less afraid the next time you have to face your fear.
Remember-we all have our own crosses we bare during our lives, so please don’t compare mine to your own. No matter-what we all are so very loved and valued by God❤️