One Year Anniversary!

Happy one year anniversary to my dearest colon!!
🎊🎉🎉

I figured I would celebrate because you know that old saying about loving your enemies!....You know...Since my colon basically attacks itself...yeah...I laughed.....



It has been a year since I was diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis.

It's weird how something that was once so shocking is now just a part of me like my nose.

I remember sitting in the hospital bed when the doctor came in and gave me my diagnosis. It was the second time I had been in the hospital that week. Earlier I was in for a CT scan because I had intense abdominal pain in addition to a lot of other gross symptoms. They sent me home and told me to schedule a colonoscopy ASAP. I did and the symptoms didn't get any better, so my mom took me back to the hospital where I was officially admitted.

The doctor came in, said something about test results, and that I was diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis. Then my ears turned off.

Wait.

There's something wrong with me?

"It's a chronic illness....treatments..."

Wait. 

Ulcerative Colitis?

My mom mentioned that she has a friend of a friend who has Crohn's. "Thank God it's not Crohn's!"

Wait. 

How?

"There's no known cause..."

Wait. 

I remember saying Ulcerative Colitis over and over again in my mind for days.

You know when you say a word over and over again and it loses all meaning and it just starts to sound like a weird made up noise?

This was the opposite.

These two words that I had never heard of before were now attached to me. Forever.

Ulcerative Colitis.

I couldn't bear to look into the details on the pamphlets they gave me while I was in the hospital, so I opted to finding memes. I needed something to stop my urge to cry out.

Some of my favorites where:

-They say always to "trust your gut". Have you met my gut? You don't want to trust that bastard.
-Yes? Hello. I'd like a refund on my body. It's kind of defective and really expensive.
-I'm too busy fighting my own immune system to deal with your judgmental BS.

While I was in the hospital, I felt like my Ulcerative Colitis defined me. Which is fair. I was an IBD (inflammatory bowel disease) flare patient on a post surgery recovery floor. It defined my treatment. It defined my diet. It was defining how people treated me.

Talk about a hostile takeover.

Women in my IBD support groups say that a flare is much more painful than childbirth to put it into perspective. I was in my flare starting about mid-April through July in 2017. (Thankfully, I was started on pain meds in June).

It feels weird to say that I'm in a good place about it now because it has been such a long road. Recovery was hard for several months. Treatment and medications were difficult as well. I actually lost a lot of hair for the first three months because the chemo treatment was really hard on my body. It finally started growing back around October, so that's been fun. I have had two haircuts since then and each time I have gotten the same hairdresser. She likes to point out how much it has grown.

I've really been able to come to terms with my Ulcerative Colitis. I accept it as a part of myself, but I am not defining myself by my illness. I like being able to contribute to my support groups and give people advice about going into a colonoscopy or starting Remicaid (the chemo) for the first time. I try not to let my thoughts only pertain to my IBD.

That doesn't mean it still doesn't freak me out sometimes. I've had countless nights where I've cried myself to sleep about it because I could have a flare happen at anytime really. I'm on meds that are supposed to keep me in remission, but UC affects everyone differently. And the meds could stop working at anytime. That's one of the reasons the nurses check up on me so often while I am getting my Remicaid infusions. They have to see if I am developing any new symptoms. Even when I got my February infusion, my veins in my left arm started aching, so I had to get a hot pack tied to my arm.

I was officially in remission since the beginning of last December, but it still affects me. I have to keep taking my immunosuppressants. I have to keep going to my Remicaid infusions once every two months. I have to be mindful of what I eat and what alcohol I drink. I still get worried every time I get period cramps because those aches remind me of my flare. I actual started having another flare a couple of weeks ago. Which has led to me going back to the low residue diet I was on last summer(basically no fruits or veggies).

It's weird because we always knew it was a matter of when than if. It's interesting that it has come around at this time because I've been drafting this post for a couple of months actually, so I had been mulling about what I wish I would have known or if I could go back and tell myself something. "You're going to be okay" seemed too lame and cliche. Any remarks about what I would accomplish within the next year wouldn't have helped me at all. I decided that I wish I would have told myself. " You are stronger than you know."



I try to stay updated on research and articles to try to understand what my body is doing and how my Ulcerative Colitis works. I also read articles about new medicines that are coming onto the market and different research that is looking into the possible causes of IBD (the latest I saw was a chemical that was commonly used in hand sanitizer up until 2016). It is interesting how my worldwide has expanded. I never really knew or heard about chronic illnesses or chronic pain or truly understood autoimmune diseases until last year. It's a whole different subculture of experiences that a surprising amount of people go through everyday.

I'm slowly working on building awareness of Crohn's and Colitis with my friends and family. When I do this, I am not looking for sympathy or to gain attention to myself. I am trying to bring to light issues that most people don't know about or are too ashamed of to have a conversation about it. 

As hard as this past year has been, I really wouldn't change it. I've learned who my true friends are, and I have gotten closer to my family. I have an amazing job and coworkers. I have met a bunch of new people. I gotten closer to Christ and helped lead others closer to him as well. I really can't complain. We all have our own crosses we carry through our lives. Ulcerative Colitis is just one of mine. 

But What Do You Do?

I have luckily been the Marketing Director for Westside Pizza for about five months now. I really love my job and I actually enjoy going into work during the week. I love talking about how awesome my job is which includes highlights of playing darts with my hilarious bosses and doing photoshoots with pizza. As much as people know that my job is "a good job" they have no idea what a marketing director does.

People ask what I do on a day to day basis; however, my job isn't a typical 9-5. I should start off with saying that I don't work on Mondays and our work day start at 10. Yes. You are allowed to feel jealous. :P 

On Tuesdays, we have our group meeting. I meet with my bosses and we talk about how our projects are doing and what needs to get done this week. After our meeting we work for a couple hours and then we have a dart tournament to see who gets to pick where we get to eat for our weekly office lunch. 

Now the actual work bit. 

First, I clock into work. Then I check the social media accounts and see if I need to respond to anything or put out new content. I respond to emails about menu proofs or questions from franchisees or sales people.

Next, I get to work on whatever project I have going on. The project depends on where we are in our promotion cycle. If a new promotion is coming up, my day consists of a lot of planning, graphic design, photography, designing emails. 

When I am done with the next promotion, I have time to work on other projects! That can range from fixing something on our website to creating TV menu slides to compiling a marketing report to
editing footage. I was working on upgrading our app for the past several months, which included getting certain rights and certificates and now we're on to the next to continue to improve and help our consumers. I have also been working on a project to help my bosses rate how our franchisees are doing. I have worked on several internal projects to help certain aspects run smoother. I help with the set up of new locations with regards to setting up their Facebook, Website, Menu, and App. 

At the end the month I go over reports with my boss to see how our promotions are doing and we analysis the effectiveness of what we are doing.

I am also continually seeking out new marketing opportunities for us to try out. I think this is one of the hardest parts of my job because you can't tell if something is going to work until after you try it. So we could be throwing our money down a drain and not know it until months later. 

2017

2017 was quite the rollercoaster of a year.

I graduated from Boise State University in May with my BBA in Marketing with Distinguished Honors from the Honor's College. I was also recognized as the Outstanding Marketing Graduate from the College of Business and Economics.

Shortly after I graduated, I was admitted to the hospital for two weeks where I was diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis, which is an autoimmune disease that currently doesn't have a cure. I found out at the beginning of December that I currently don't have any active disease, which is the best thing I could have hoped for!

I started working at Westside Pizza this fall as the new Marketing Director. So I get to take a lot of photos of pizza and play a lot of darts with my bosses.

My family grew by two more members this year! My sister Gabby had a son, Elliott, in April, and my sister Bizz had a son, Beckett, in August. Gabby asked me to be Elliott's Godmother, and he was baptized in October! Also my best friend, Claire, had her first son a couple months ago!

I think it has been a great year.

I am thankful for everything that has happened. I think I am even the most thankful for my chronic illness even though it has been a difficult journey. It has helped show me who and what is important in my life. I know that my friends truly care about my well being. My friends and family mean the world to me because they make me forget about my illness and let me be a normal person. I also know that they are able to help be when I have to get another infusion or write me a funny card when I have to get a colonoscopy. I don't know how they do it, but when I am going through a rough time, they are able to make a little joke about it and makes me realize yet again how thankful I am to have people in my life who try to make me smile if even for a moment.

So, thank you for every smile and joke and laugh. These are the moments I live for.

Thank you for continuing to push me to be the best version of myself.
Thank you for believing in my potential.
Thank you for pulling me out of my problems and into a tea party.
Thank you for the nights that turned into mornings.
Thank you for the road trips and sing a longs.
Thank you for teaching me how to dance, to skateboard, and to do a magic trick.
Thank you for the nights spent sitting on the kitchen counters laughing.
Thank you for taking the time to listen and be there for me during the difficult moments.
Thank you for bringing peace when there was so much chaos.
Thank you for investing time no matter how much or how little.
Thank you for reaching out when I forget or get to caught up in my own world.
Thank you for believing in me.
Thank you for helping me realize that work isn't everything, and it's good to get out of my office and play a couple games of darts.
Thank you for all of the new babies because that means I get to love more amazing people!
Thank you for choosing me to be a Godmother to my adorable nephew.
Thank you for smashing pumpkins and going on random errands with me.
Thank you for surprising me and being able to catch up after many years.
Thank you for the silly Snapchats.
Thank you for taking the time to visit me!
Thank you for your music.
Thank you for the study sessions and late night party planning.
Thank you for the flowers and notes.
Thank you for the happy hours, movie nights, and game tournaments.
Thank you for your patience.
Thank you for turning me down from the market research position because I love my job!
Thank you for the 'safe space' talks.
Thank you for giving up time to make sure that I'm healthy.
Thank you for trusting my crazy, insane, fun ideas.
Thank you for your vulnerability.
Thank you for the warm hugs and even the awkward hugs.
Thank you for being my partner in crime.
Thank you for being there to celebrate my successes.
Thank you for the bike rides, runs. and star gazing.
Thank you for helping me make our house a home.
Thank you for sharing a part of your world with me.

Thank you to all of my amazing friends and family that have been a part of my life this past year! I am so grateful for each and every one of you! I know that 2018 is going to be a great year since I have you all.